3 stars***

Given the incredible cast list, it’s no surprise the acting seen in London Boulevard is way up there with the best. Keira Knightley, in particular, has a screen presence similar to Liz Burton, Audrey Hepburn and that ilk. Having sat through this meandering movie, you wouldn’t be surprised to see Guy Ritchie as the director, but he’s not, William Monahan taking the reins.

So what’s it all about?

A reclusive film star hiding out from the world in a Holland Park mansion hires a London criminal recently released from prison to be her bodyguard and handyman but ends up falling for him.

This is not a remake of The Bodyguard, even if the logline suggests it. It’s a much slower pace than a Guy Ritchie special, but it does follow the traditional rules of underground London criminal fraternity.

The screenplay, by the director, is first class with many lines where writers will say ‘I wish I’d written that line.’ I haven’t read the book by Ken Bruen, but it will feature on my next Kindle list.

Ray Winstone is, as ever, the totally believable criminal boss and although I’ve not met a criminal boss, Ray’s version is exactly how I’d expect them to appear.

The writer, an American, proves how good he is by writing this gritty English (London) underground noir message that you’d have to believe he was from England to get it this right.

The ending is quite a surprise and wouldn’t have been the same had Hollywood got its hands on this movie, but it feels right given the content. GK films has added another quality product to its repertoire. It’s become comfortable that if you see its by GK Films, go watch the movie.

If you’re expecting the Sherlock Holmes that’s in your memory, forget that anticipation quickly. This is Sherlock on speed and everyone along for the ride has to match that pace of thought and action.

Arthur Conan Doyle wrote four books and almost 60 short stories around his character, Sherlock Holmes. Lionel Wigram wrote this story from Authur Conan Doyle’s original characters with Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg writing the screenplay. I’m not sure they expected it to last 134 minutes and run at full speed for at least 125 of those, but that’s what happens when you get Guy Ritchie to direct.

Wigram, also the key producer, had been planning ‘something’ to update Sherlock Holmes for a decade and Guy Ritchie wasn’t his first choice of director, but once on the team, no doubt the planning and writing took a different direction because it’s easy to spot a Guy Ritchie film; they’re fast, furious, lots of people usually die and best of all, they almost always very good. You could substitute Rock ‘n‘ Rolla for this movie and see the slow motion, the fast action and driving music in exactly the same approach that has become his ‘brand.’

If you’ve seen he trailer first, you’ll know that you must put the previously known character completely out of your mind. Robert Downey Jnr certainly takes over this role in a style never seen before and many have said he does a great job and masters the English accent. I wonder what another actor would have done with the role and how English their accent would have sounded? Better?

Rachel McAdams shines again, with her role changed entirely from the books, but this is a very positive gain. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is first class. This movie manages to show their real admiration of each other with a hint of fun and minor abhorrence glowing in almost every scene.

The music by Hans Zimmer is so good it stands alone. I’ve heard that Guy Ritchie used Zimmer’s Dark Knight music while mixing and editing took place and then asked Hans Zimmer to write new music for this movie. The music drives along the pace and placed in your car’s MP3 player, will drive you at the maximum speed on the highway.

My only complaint is that the explanations to the mystery went a little too fast and I’m sure I didn’t get them all. That’ll make me get the DVD!

Whether you agree or disagree with the award winners or losers is irrelevant. You, personally, get to decide who you thought was the best for your eyes and ears; the Academy ™ decides who they liked the most and their ceremony is probably bigger than yours. Na na na boo boo, as five year olds say.

Just a few months back, Slumdog was a certainty for the ‘straight to DVD’ market. How that can happen to any Danny Boyle movie is a wonder to most people; his skills being well known? You may (or may not) have liked Trainspotting, but you probably enjoyed 28 Days Later and The Beach.

The Brits certainly did invade during 2008. Our own FAMM ™awards (more highly rated than the Academy’s Oscars™) recently voted first place to Mamma Mia! for the best movie and best musical; Rolling Stones music in Shine A Light for best score; Guy Ritchie, best director for Rocknrolla; best short film went to Chris Jones’ Gone Fishing; Michael Caine won the Special FAMM ™Mention.

FAMM™ agreed with the Academy ™over Penélope Cruz , but FAMM™ awarded her for Elegy and not Vicky Cristina Barcelona; it must have been a good year for Ms Cruz who carried part of her winning speech in her native tongue.

It was good to see Sean Penn’s career win a top slot. He’s the spitting image of my friend Martin and was able to give (Sean, not Martin) a part political speech in his allotted 45 seconds, of which all but a few Californian voters agreed.

I must take umbrage with Wall-E getting the Oscar™ for best animation. Let’s be honest, it wasn’t nearly as good as Escape2 Africa, wasn’t anywhere close to the quality of Bolt, but it contained a message that came across well, rather than entertain. Two of our group of four fell asleep during Wall-y (the Brits and the Ausies will get that pun) so while the message reached them, the entertainment didn’t.

The Main Awards

Of course the main recipients of the key awards this 81st edition were for best adapted screenplay: (Slumdog Millionaire) to Simon Beaufoy from the novel by Vikas Swarup and best original screenplay to Dustin Lance Black for his ‘Milk.’ Without the script there is no movie. Directors, producers, actors and crew should remember that.

A further thought; perhaps the British invasion should be termed half British and half Indian. After all, the story is about India, it’s set in India and stars many Indian actors. Without India, this movie wouldn’t have existed so it’s fitting to acknowledge where appropriate.

We stand by our FAMM™ decision to go for Mamma Mia! It excelled in every way. How long before the Academy dares to give the main award again to a musical?

I hope I’ve added enough ™ symbols where appropriate. The Academy are quite (means very) strict about who can say or print their name and they do like being attached to their intellectual property, the Oscars ™. If I have missed any, here’s a spare one – ™; Please place where appropriate.

FAMM ™ hasn’t used a picture of the statue for fear of upsetting too many people at the Academy™. I wouldn’t ever wish to use anything without permission just as I wouldn’t anyone to use my work without asking (and preferably paying dollars) first. It’s been suggested that I start work on my winning speech for future use. Can I borrow your shampoo bottle, Kate?

The FAMM winners for 2008 are:

Roll the drums please …

Best screenplay:

• Barry Levy – Vantage Point
The quality of writing didn’t get any better than this inter-twining epic as we see the same event from several viewpoints which are then brought together for a great finale.

Best film/movie:

• Mamma Mia!
There was no doubting this runaway winner, appealing to all sectors of the market with its outstanding direction, acting, music and of course, a gem of a screenplay.

Best actor:

• Don Cheadle – Traitor
A first class act that shows why this genius gives us brilliant performances time after time, with this almost as good as Hotel Rawanda showing.

Best actress:

• Penélope Cruz – Elegy
Delightful, believable; Cruz gives a sexy, warm then cold performance that made you want to love her and then loathe her and love her again.

Best musical:

• Mamma Mia!
The winner takes it all. No other musical movie managed to get anywhere near this Abba/Greek entertaining journey. Fun for all, except critics who won’t be seen admitting the truth.

Best score/music:

• Shine A Light –Rolling Stones
Beats Abba’s songs by such a slight shade almost certainly due to the longer history and the larger variation of styles, but it was oh so close, they both deserved to win.

Best director:

• Guy Ritchie – Rocknrolla
Proving he’s back to his best. I can’t wait for the next two in the franchise. Almost as good as Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Best animation:

• Madagascar Escape 2 Africa
Well made, even if the plot was not a classic. The characters came alive.

Best short film:

• Gone Fishing by Chris Jones
Chris set his target to get a win at the Academy Awards for a short film; he’s on target with his nomination. A beautiful film looking at relationships; more than fishing.

Special FAMM mention 2008:

• Michael Caine
Who else could be a bit part actor in a movie and come away as the star turn. Someone (who?) said ‘you don’t direct Michael Caine; he just does a perfect performance every time.’ One of the greats of all time and continues to shine well into his mid-seventies.

Sorry if you favourites aren’t mentioned, please leave a comment to say who you think should have been included and/or who you believe should win these prestigious awards. If your faves are not here, it means we were too busy writing screenplays and missed your movie choice!

4 stars****

This franchise continues Guy Ritchie’s excellent direction. If this film is successful (figures show it already is) then he’ll follow up with ‘The Real Rocknrolla’ and finally the trilogy closes with ‘Rocknroll Suicide.’ He’s the master of Brit mobster movies, even if he does have the occasional disappointment.

Stepping aside from Guy Ritchie’s directing work; he is a masterful screenplay writer. This is another of those movies where you can pick up a copy of the screenplay and put the movie into your mind as you read it. There’s a fair chance that you’d end up with the same movie these guys came up with.

While the Academy almost certainly won’t put this Guy Ritchie comedy/mobster screenplay on their final list, it does deserve to be at least, close. You can see that he has dissected every word that he crafted to leave just the bare bones, which means that every word counts.

Tom Wilkinson won applause for his ‘Full Monty’ performance and most definitely for the extraordinary ‘In the Bedroom’ with Sissy Spacek. In this movie, he deserves more praise; his portrayal of a mobster boss who doesn’t appear to essentially be involved directly with his squad’s interrogation techniques, is close to perfect. He may give the orders, but he talks to others.

Thandie Newton, one of many stars in both ‘Crash’ and ‘Mission Impossible II,’ demonstrates an outrageous charm as she fiddles the books for whoever will pay her as an up market accountant. She’ll steal from them by employing low level thugs and then go back for more. If she did make it to the end of the movie (and the gloves being worn by one of the Russian thugs suggests she won’t be) her role could become additionally riveting in franchise part 2.

I’m disheartened that I virtually missed new Bond girl Gemma Arterton as ‘June’ as I wondered what her skills were like before I see the new Bond movie next week. I’ll have to wait and see.

We saw the immense Gerard Butler in Nims Island earlier this year. This actor’s role was so far removed from his previous task, so as to prove his acting abilities show no boundaries, while Mark Strong knows that with his second in command performance, he’ll be back in charge in franchise 2 and, if he lives long enough (in the movie no-one is safe), in franchise 3.

The only person missing was footballer Vinnie Jones, although his acting years are becoming close to his football years, so we will at some stage call him actor, Vinnie Jones. Vinnie was a major player in early Guy Ritchie films, especially the film of 1999, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Two final points of major interest then:

One; no definite violence is in fact, seen. Show and not tell is used to mammoth proportions. You see the golf club going down on the man’s legs. You don’t see it really hit the legs, but you do know his legs will be broken. You may see the blood hit the wall, but you don’t see the bullet going into, through and out the opposite side of the soon to be corpse.

Two; Guy Ritchie, via both films schools of high note (Dov S-S Simens and Elliot Grove’s Raindance) is an excellent screenplay writer. This script is one of the best in years. It’s an excellent example of how to re-write until you assemble all that the experts will charge you to find out. It’ll be used as an illustration of clear writing at future film schools.

I hope his divorce from Madonna doesn’t slow down his output.