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You go to the cinema. That horrible smell lingers throughout. You crunch some under your feet. It’s everywhere; it’s a mess. It’s worse than confetti for clearing up. That awful stuff we’re told we have to love at the movies – popcorn.

I know it sounds like a very poor script and it certainly can’t be true (say all those starting to shake violently) but it might just happen. The UK’s biggest arthouse screens, Picturehouse cinemas, are banning the life out of popcorn. They’ve nineteen venues and are attempting the ban trial to see what happens. However, the trial is only at one of their houses.

The Everyman Cinema Club, an eight theatre business serves wasbi peas, olives and Italian bread. We understand the wine list is quite up-market.

For those who loathe the smell of popcorn, at least they have the opportunity to watch movies without thinking about throwing up at vital moments.

Others will say it’s an institution that cannot end, like the monarchy; surely it’s treason to even consider it. No longer it appears.

We all know (or you will now having read this) that movie houses don’t make money from selling tickets and seats to you. They make it from the amount of junk food they can get you to consume. Where else would you pay that much for a Coke or a Pepsi and not want to call in the consumer protection office to get those people to explain how they can charge enough for just one drink that could buy you a crate full at your local supermarket? The boxes and bags cost more to produce than the popcorn in them.

Could it be the noise of rustling containers and the crunching of that imitation food that haunts cinema goers or is it still those challenged people who not only keep their cell phone on, but take the calls?

Oh for the days when there was a break between films and you had to queue at the front to buy the only item on offer; a nice quiet ice cream in a tub.

Perhaps it’s the cinemas that are to blame for culture’s current obesity? Where else can you be guaranteed more salt and sugar necessary for ten weeks, than in a ninety minute feast of popcorn and cola?

For the informed: Popcorn is a two billion dollar industry with most of it made/grown in Nebraska and Indiana. To save some comments, unflavoured popcorn is high in fibre, low in calories, salt-free and sugar-free.

Personally I like both Pepsi and Coca Cola, but I see the evidence sat on my stomach.